I've been dreading...

this post. On the date of my last post, August 6th my dad passed away completely unexpectedly. He was alone at home. So many random things have run through my mind about that dreadful night. I've always used this blog as a family journal that I share with my friends, family, and maybe a few strangers. This is the hardest thing I've had to go through. I hate to live in the past, but their memories nonetheless. Odd things about that day...(they'll probably seem ridiculous to you, but once again this is a journal for our family).

• I love to go to Happy Hour at Sonic. Everly and I went that afternoon before coming over to Pop and Gimme's. As I waited for my drink I saw a crow from my rearview mirror. I do not like birds...especially crows. I think it's something to do with the Alfred Hitchcock movie, The Birds. Anyway, I moved so the bird would not be in my line of vision...the bird moved too. I know it's weird, but it was even weirder for me to see one in the Sonic parking lot.
• I called my parents house as I drove to Opp. I didn't leave a message...and I always leave a message. I often think to myself...what would have happened if I did...would Daddy have called me back and told me that his chest hurt. Would I have called 911 and sent them to his house? I know that is purely torchering myself, but I can't help it.

Some other feelings I've had...

• My sister, Susie and I planned on talking to my dad about salvation...but we didn't. We kept putting it off. You see in my family, we don't talk about feelings. It's just something that didn't happen.
• My dad and I weren't on the best of terms when he passed away. I was selfish. I know he did the things he did out of the goodness of his heart...not as a jab to me. It just felt that way and I never talked to him about it. I had not talked to my dad in over a month. Yes, bad I know. I felt so much guilt for this for many days, but I have peace about that now. Only the Lord could have taken these feelings away from my heart. I know I have a purpose. I know my dad loved me and he knew I loved him. I know he was proud of me and I hope my future actions will be the same.

The best news throughout this event came at my dad's memorial service. The preacher, Mr. Headley shared news that my dad was saved. After hearing this news my strength came.